Suffering

The other day, I read an article in the New York Times by an author (Pico Iyer, who should know better) who said that the Buddha was of the opinion that suffering is an inextricable part of being alive as a human. This is not true. In fact, what the Buddha taught is precisely the opposite. The first Noble Truth is, indeed, that there is suffering. But rather than a prescriptive statement, it is merely a descriptive one. It's a fact. There is suffering. But the Buddha also said, "I have come to teach only two things: suffering and the end of suffering." All of his teachings point toward how we can end suffering. Nowhere in them is the idea floated that we must simply put up with it.

Which is not to say that that painful will not come. We all know it will. As one famous formula has it, suffering is pain times resistance. It is not that the pain or grief or difficulty is avoidable. But what we do with what comes our way, how personally we take it, how vigorously we push it away is what creates our suffering.

This is worth dwelling on for a moment, because it is so entirely opposite what we usually think. Our suffering, so the usual thought goes, is caused by the source of our pain. For instance, I have recently been suffering around a conflict at work and it took me several weeks and a great deal of concentrated meditation to realize that the other person was not the source of my suffering. She was the source of my pain, perhaps, though a great deal of that was my stuff, too. But the suffering was 100% my doing because I was living in resistance to the painful experience.

Which is not to say that others can't be entirely and sometimes egregiously wrong. This is not a method for letting others off the hook (though it's worth considering whether or not their presence on or off the hook is any of our business, really). What the Buddha was telling us is that precisely what we believe to be a solution to our suffering (blaming, criticizing, being right) is what is, in fact, causing us to suffer.

One of the Buddha's most radical teachings was when he said, "Everything the world considers a source of suffering I consider a source of freedom. Everything the world considers a source of freedom, I consider a source of suffering." We reach for substances, experiences, people and other sources of distraction, believing they will bring us lasting happiness and they only bring us the most fleeting pleasure. We look with horror at the prospect of renunciation, of no longer relying on shopping, drinking, eating, sex, travel, television, and other distractions as a source of happiness. (Don't get me wrong—unless you are addicted to these, I am not advocating giving them up entirely, just the idea that they can bring us true happiness).
In other words, the Buddha's teachings can be summed up in three vital points:

1. There is suffering.
2. We believe we know what will end suffering.
3. We are wrong.

One of the most compelling images in all of Buddhism is that of the Hungry Ghost, a being who is eternally ravenous, who eats and eats and eats but has a stomach so capacious it can never be satisfied. He is always hungry and never thinks that perhaps not giving in to the hunger might bring him more happiness than trying to feed it. This is a perfect image of us as we go through nearly every day. It is not an easy matter to give this up, this delusion. But, look at those around you and at your own life. How often do we go through days, weeks, months, lifetimes seeking for joy outside ourselves without realizing that the treasure we seek is here where we are, how we are, right now, today, this moment. We can live here in perfect peace if that is what we choose.

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P.S. I doubt any of you were waiting with trepidation and anxiety to hear the outcome of my job search, about which I wrote a few weeks ago. I withdrew my application for the job I applied for and have not yet decided whether or not to look for another job after the first of the year, but I won't do anything until then. The reasons for my withdrawal are both complex and fairly boring, so just let me say that it is a decision about which I feel good.