Now, wait a minute, you may well be asking, what does all of this have to do with losing weight? Isn't that the premise upon which this whole enterprise is predicated?
Well...yes and no. If you were to ask if losing weight was my goal when I started this blog, my answer would have to be no, that really wasn't what I was trying to achieve. Why? Because it is this very kind of striving that is the creation of suffering as defined by the Buddha in the Four Noble Truths. But if you were to ask if losing weight was one of the outcomes I was hoping might come to pass from writing this blog, then I would have to answer yes, of course. Am I being inconsistent here?
I don't think so. And here's why: I consider the excess weight I carry around as a symptom of suffering. It is not suffering itself unless I make it so by opposing the idea of being overweight by telling myself I am a fat slob or a weakling because I am incapable of losing it. I have given up these forms of suffering. (It is possible, by the way, to make such a choice. It may not happen overnight—it didn't for me—but you can, believe me. There is no reason to create this kind of suffering for yourself. And you may also have noticed it doesn't help you lose weight, either).
No, the extra weight I carry around is a direct result of trying to bring an end to suffering through the expedient of extra calories. It doesn't work, it can't work, but that's why it's there. Which is why I have chosen to confront this challenge as a meditation (or series of meditations) on what the Buddha was trying to say. What I have found is that the more I incorporate these principles into my life, the less I suffer. The less I suffer, the less likely I am to overeat. It works the other way, too: when I feel the urge to eat to excess, I have the opportunity to confront that urge with the understanding that I am trying to bring an end to suffering through unskillful means. Both of these lead directly to liberation if I have the wisdom to use them skillfully. Here, for me, is the most important factor, though: I do not use the fact of losing or gaining weight as a measure of my self-worth or my success or failure. Everything we confront is an opportunity to become free and this is no exception.
That sounds all fine and well in principle, of course, but what does it mean in actual fact? How do I go about this? Well, as I have described before, I restrict calories. This serves the practical purpose of aiding my desire to lose weight but the more important function of allowing me to see clearly what it feels like to have a desire to eat when I do not need any food for sustenance. Why do I want it, then? What hunger am I feeding if I eat when I am not physically hungry? What do I feel I am lacking that I am trying to fill with food?
I want to be clear that I believe with all my heart that this is a path to total and complete liberation from the fetters of this world. It is far from the only path, but it certainly is one. Anything upon which we can meditate and come to a profound understanding of the nature of suffering and the end of suffering can lead to liberation. That is why I have taken this on. It is also why most of this blog is about the dharma and much less of it is about actually losing weight. I've lost some, I've regained some, I've lost it again (I keep an Excel file with my weights in it and over the past few months the graph looks like gently rolling hills). But in the process I have come to a deeper understanding of the dharma. Am I entirely free? Well, of course not, far from it. But the Buddha made clear that such a release is entirely possible in this very life and for each of us. It is not an esoteric or mysterious path, not the purview of mystic yogis or ascetic recluses. The grist of the mill of liberation is present in every moment of every day of every human life.
Well...yes and no. If you were to ask if losing weight was my goal when I started this blog, my answer would have to be no, that really wasn't what I was trying to achieve. Why? Because it is this very kind of striving that is the creation of suffering as defined by the Buddha in the Four Noble Truths. But if you were to ask if losing weight was one of the outcomes I was hoping might come to pass from writing this blog, then I would have to answer yes, of course. Am I being inconsistent here?
No, the extra weight I carry around is a direct result of trying to bring an end to suffering through the expedient of extra calories. It doesn't work, it can't work, but that's why it's there. Which is why I have chosen to confront this challenge as a meditation (or series of meditations) on what the Buddha was trying to say. What I have found is that the more I incorporate these principles into my life, the less I suffer. The less I suffer, the less likely I am to overeat. It works the other way, too: when I feel the urge to eat to excess, I have the opportunity to confront that urge with the understanding that I am trying to bring an end to suffering through unskillful means. Both of these lead directly to liberation if I have the wisdom to use them skillfully. Here, for me, is the most important factor, though: I do not use the fact of losing or gaining weight as a measure of my self-worth or my success or failure. Everything we confront is an opportunity to become free and this is no exception.
That sounds all fine and well in principle, of course, but what does it mean in actual fact? How do I go about this? Well, as I have described before, I restrict calories. This serves the practical purpose of aiding my desire to lose weight but the more important function of allowing me to see clearly what it feels like to have a desire to eat when I do not need any food for sustenance. Why do I want it, then? What hunger am I feeding if I eat when I am not physically hungry? What do I feel I am lacking that I am trying to fill with food?I want to be clear that I believe with all my heart that this is a path to total and complete liberation from the fetters of this world. It is far from the only path, but it certainly is one. Anything upon which we can meditate and come to a profound understanding of the nature of suffering and the end of suffering can lead to liberation. That is why I have taken this on. It is also why most of this blog is about the dharma and much less of it is about actually losing weight. I've lost some, I've regained some, I've lost it again (I keep an Excel file with my weights in it and over the past few months the graph looks like gently rolling hills). But in the process I have come to a deeper understanding of the dharma. Am I entirely free? Well, of course not, far from it. But the Buddha made clear that such a release is entirely possible in this very life and for each of us. It is not an esoteric or mysterious path, not the purview of mystic yogis or ascetic recluses. The grist of the mill of liberation is present in every moment of every day of every human life.
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