The simplest way to access the expanded space that will allow you to make room for your ego without letting it be in control is through meditation. If you are new to meditation, please don't abandon this post quite yet. Before you say, "Oh, I have tried that and it didn't work" or "I can never sit still that long" or "I actually feel more agitated after I do that" or "My mind just keeps racing and it won't stay still" allow me a few words to convince you that meditation can benefit you and may not be at all what you think it is.
First of all, to respond to the argument that you could never sit still long enough to meditate, I would say this: if I offered you a million dollars to sit still for 15 minutes and just try to follow your breath, don't you think you could? You wouldn't even have to succeed in following your breath, you would just have to try. Since I don't know anyone who wouldn't answer yes to that question, then I would further put it to you that what meditation has to offer is worth far more than a million dollars and therefore perhaps it's worth a try.
Let me also quickly respond to the objections having to do with the fact that you might not become calmer, that your mind might not stop its chatter, and all that. These are expectations and are ego-driven. Having a set idea of what meditation is or will do for you is sitting smack-dab in the middle of ego, and the goal is to place yourself outside of ego. There is nothing in particular to do in meditation, and there is nothing in particular it will yield to you. To think you know in advance what it can and cannot do, or what you can or cannot do is (what else?) pure ego. So try to let go of all that, because letting go is what this practice is all about.
Here is the practice in its simplest form, though when I say that it is simple, I don't mean that it is in any way inferior to some more complex practice. At the risk of repeating myself, most of the more complicated forms of meditation are egotistical attempts to make the practitioners of those forms seem more sophisticated than you and me. Needless to say, such attempts work directly counter to the very work that meditation is trying to accomplish. So, the practice:
Find a comfortable place to sit. It doesn't have to be quiet or the perfect temperature. You don't have to buy a bunch of cool-looking meditation supplies and cushions; a chair is just fine. (There is no evidence that enlightenment is more likely to happen near the floor). Set a timer for a specific time; try about 15 minutes to start. Close your eyes, or not, whatever works best for you, but closing your eyes removes one source of distraction. Pick a spot where you can feel your breath; the nostril is the most common place, but the movement of the abdomen works fine, too, as does the upper lip if you feel it there. Then try to follow your breath as it goes in and out. Keep doing this until the timer goes off. That's really all there is to it.
What is likely to happen? Well, your mind will supply you with nearly endless entertainment if you let it, but remember that this is the ego trying to regain control. Don't chastise it (it's doing its best to make you happy, remember), simply set it aside and return to the breath. Sometimes you may be lost in thought for minutes at a time. I have been known to set my timer for 45 minutes and never watch a single breath. There is no judgment here; we simply rise from the cushion and take the resolution to pay more attention the next time. Try not to make meditation a new problem; it has the potential to be the best friend you have, especially if your quest is to lose weight or control compulsive eating. I will talk more about that in my next post.
First of all, to respond to the argument that you could never sit still long enough to meditate, I would say this: if I offered you a million dollars to sit still for 15 minutes and just try to follow your breath, don't you think you could? You wouldn't even have to succeed in following your breath, you would just have to try. Since I don't know anyone who wouldn't answer yes to that question, then I would further put it to you that what meditation has to offer is worth far more than a million dollars and therefore perhaps it's worth a try.
Let me also quickly respond to the objections having to do with the fact that you might not become calmer, that your mind might not stop its chatter, and all that. These are expectations and are ego-driven. Having a set idea of what meditation is or will do for you is sitting smack-dab in the middle of ego, and the goal is to place yourself outside of ego. There is nothing in particular to do in meditation, and there is nothing in particular it will yield to you. To think you know in advance what it can and cannot do, or what you can or cannot do is (what else?) pure ego. So try to let go of all that, because letting go is what this practice is all about.
Here is the practice in its simplest form, though when I say that it is simple, I don't mean that it is in any way inferior to some more complex practice. At the risk of repeating myself, most of the more complicated forms of meditation are egotistical attempts to make the practitioners of those forms seem more sophisticated than you and me. Needless to say, such attempts work directly counter to the very work that meditation is trying to accomplish. So, the practice:
Find a comfortable place to sit. It doesn't have to be quiet or the perfect temperature. You don't have to buy a bunch of cool-looking meditation supplies and cushions; a chair is just fine. (There is no evidence that enlightenment is more likely to happen near the floor). Set a timer for a specific time; try about 15 minutes to start. Close your eyes, or not, whatever works best for you, but closing your eyes removes one source of distraction. Pick a spot where you can feel your breath; the nostril is the most common place, but the movement of the abdomen works fine, too, as does the upper lip if you feel it there. Then try to follow your breath as it goes in and out. Keep doing this until the timer goes off. That's really all there is to it.
What is likely to happen? Well, your mind will supply you with nearly endless entertainment if you let it, but remember that this is the ego trying to regain control. Don't chastise it (it's doing its best to make you happy, remember), simply set it aside and return to the breath. Sometimes you may be lost in thought for minutes at a time. I have been known to set my timer for 45 minutes and never watch a single breath. There is no judgment here; we simply rise from the cushion and take the resolution to pay more attention the next time. Try not to make meditation a new problem; it has the potential to be the best friend you have, especially if your quest is to lose weight or control compulsive eating. I will talk more about that in my next post.
This is excellent! I enjoy reading your blogs. Thanks.
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