Acceptance

I find I have a bit more to say on yesterday's topic. This is a pep talk I need to hear, so if you don't, feel free to skip it. Here's the thing, though: I think it is vital for me to make a distinction here between the mere idea of complete acceptance of this moment just as it is and the foundation of all Buddhist thought which is contained within this idea. Which is to say, this is not the least bit theoretical, but the very beginning of the beginning of an understanding of what the Buddha was attempting to teach us.

Sylvia Boorstein, who I have mentioned before, says that at one point in her life, whenever someone asked her how she was doing, she would reply, "Couldn't be better." She meant this to be taken literally. The fact is that in any given moment we cannot be doing better than we are. This is an incontrovertible truth. This moment cannot be changed from what it is and therefore I could not be doing any better than I am within it. This may seem like mere word games; it is anything but that. It is the core truth of this system of belief. This is so because it is in our resistance to the current reality of just this moment or our craving to cling to what is in just this moment and preserve it to make us feel better in the next moment that causes suffering to come to pass. It cannot be otherwise. It is even true to say that we are always either in acceptance or suffering.

One of Pema Chodron's books is titled Comfortable With Uncertainty. Another is Start Where You Are. The titles alone tell the story; there is no other place to begin the practice then where we are now, which is a place filled with uncertainty. She can state this with impunity because it is universally true. There is nothing but uncertainty to be found anywhere in our lives. Everything shifts. We become older, we are ill, those we love fall out of love with us or become ill or die. My beautiful sunflowers will wilt and fade and I will compost what is left of them. My job will shift and flow with the changes in me, my coworkers, and our clients. The phone may ring and bring me great sorrow. The phone may ring and bring me great joy. These may both be the same call.

Another sage once wrote, "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today." What a blanket statement that is! Yet in the 15 years or so since I first read it, I have never found a situation to which it did not apply. That this is very, very difficult to do goes without saying. That it is the only available solution is nonetheless true.

I find myself all too often projecting myself into the future where things will be better or, in the case of this week, when all of these responsibiliities and obligations will have come to an end. This has two negative implications for the present moment; it sucks any joy from the moment and it sets me up to have a negative reaction to whatever happens in it. This can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I perceive a situation as undesirable from the start, it is a very difficult task to turn my head around to see it as anything else. Whereas if I can open my heart and my mind to the moment I am in and assume that it simply will be as it is and I will take from it only what it truly has to offer rather than projecting my ego onto it, then I have done at least that much to make it no worse than it really is. Beyond this, though, I can also strive to be a force for good. I can try to be the person who makes each moment better than it might have been otherwise. I cannot do this by judging the current moment as inferior or wrong, but only through the practice of compassion and kindness. I suceed at this more often than I used to, but not nearly as often as I would like. One thing I enjoy about the dharma is that such an assessment need not be a judgment but can serve as a signpost for what work lies ahead for me on the path.