And so it was that Anna found herself in a hovel in the poorest part of town with the newborn baby she named Jacob for her father. She had saved most of what she earned in the brothel, but after Max took room and board, charges for laundry, regular doctor's visits and the like, her wages were precious small. Knowing that work for an unmarried woman with a small child might well be impossible to find, she squeezed every farthing until it could be squeezed no further. She did pay a pittance to the midwife who came to attend her, though to Anna it felt like a fortune. But when her lovely child was born hale and healthy, she knew she would have paid any price for her Jacob and the help the midwife gave.
But at first the child did not thrive. He appeared pale and sickly, though readily took to the breast. In her desperation, Anna began to talk to him, at first praying and begging him to stay alive for her sake, then, when she ran out of prayers and pleas, to tell him all of her life, all her joys and shames and sorrows and loves and regrets. As she knew he could not understand what she was saying, she did not stint and told even those things of which she was most ashamed. For reasons she did not fully understand, this made her feel immensely better. And slowly the child began to grow stouter and take on a healthier glow.
When Jacob was a bit over a month old, Anna neared complete destitution. Though Jacob ate only what she gave him from her body, she was eating less and less to scrape by and knew that soon even her milk might dry up from the lack of nourishment. She had inquired round about but, as expected, no one wished to give her even the most menial work, for she was tainted by both her past and her unwedded maternity. She was sitting in her one-room shack's only chair, cuddling Jacob's warm, plump body as he slept, weeping quietly over the state of their affairs, when a knock came at her door.
Anna opened the door cautiously to a rather queer sight. Though the man on her doorstep was attired as a menial, when he pushed his hood back it was clear he was a more cultured sort, for his skin was clean and smooth and eyes clear. He smiled gently and said, "I have come from Sir Ambrose. May I come in?" Silently, Anna opened the door further and beckoned him inside. "Thank you."
A silence fell between them as Anna sat speechless, too shy and surprised to speak. The young man waited politely for her to collect herself, as calm and self-possessed as if he could have waited the whole evening and on into the next day. Finally, he spoke. "I have had the devil's own time finding you, miss. If you'll pardon the expression."
"Oh!" said Anna. "I...you have been looking? But...".
"Oh, dear, yes. Sir Ambrose was that perturbed when he found you had left The Foxes, but that rogue Max was no help, for he had no idea where you had gone."
"I'm so sorry, you have surprised me so that I have forgotten my manners. You are welcome here, but I... cannot offer you any refreshment, I'm afraid. Would you care for some water?"
"No, no, miss, I am well, thank you. It is I who should apologize for bursting in on you like this. Allow me to explain: I am Sir Ambrose's man; I have been with him since boyhood, for my father worked for him as well. Whatever he asks of me, I do my utmost, for he has indeed been very kind to my family. So he gave me the assignment to find you and find you I have and very glad of it he will be, too. He asked if you could meet him. I'm to take you to him, if you are willing."
"Now? But...I...I have nothing...I cannot offer myself...". She blushed deeply and could not go on. To his credit, the young man did not immediately understand what she was trying so hard not to say, but when he did, he too colored and said, "Oh, no, miss, no, no. Sir Ambrose has only your well-being in mind, yours and the baby's; he wishes only to speak with you, if you are willing. Nothing more." And when she still hesitated, added, "I would suppose there's dinner in it, too...for us both!" And gave her a sly grin she could not resist.
"Very well, but I...I have nothing else to wear than these rags I have on and my wrap. I could not go anywhere respectable."
"No worries, miss. Where we are going you shall fit right in. Shall we be off?"
Chapter Five is here.
But at first the child did not thrive. He appeared pale and sickly, though readily took to the breast. In her desperation, Anna began to talk to him, at first praying and begging him to stay alive for her sake, then, when she ran out of prayers and pleas, to tell him all of her life, all her joys and shames and sorrows and loves and regrets. As she knew he could not understand what she was saying, she did not stint and told even those things of which she was most ashamed. For reasons she did not fully understand, this made her feel immensely better. And slowly the child began to grow stouter and take on a healthier glow.
When Jacob was a bit over a month old, Anna neared complete destitution. Though Jacob ate only what she gave him from her body, she was eating less and less to scrape by and knew that soon even her milk might dry up from the lack of nourishment. She had inquired round about but, as expected, no one wished to give her even the most menial work, for she was tainted by both her past and her unwedded maternity. She was sitting in her one-room shack's only chair, cuddling Jacob's warm, plump body as he slept, weeping quietly over the state of their affairs, when a knock came at her door.
Anna opened the door cautiously to a rather queer sight. Though the man on her doorstep was attired as a menial, when he pushed his hood back it was clear he was a more cultured sort, for his skin was clean and smooth and eyes clear. He smiled gently and said, "I have come from Sir Ambrose. May I come in?" Silently, Anna opened the door further and beckoned him inside. "Thank you."
A silence fell between them as Anna sat speechless, too shy and surprised to speak. The young man waited politely for her to collect herself, as calm and self-possessed as if he could have waited the whole evening and on into the next day. Finally, he spoke. "I have had the devil's own time finding you, miss. If you'll pardon the expression."
"Oh!" said Anna. "I...you have been looking? But...".
"Oh, dear, yes. Sir Ambrose was that perturbed when he found you had left The Foxes, but that rogue Max was no help, for he had no idea where you had gone."
"I'm so sorry, you have surprised me so that I have forgotten my manners. You are welcome here, but I... cannot offer you any refreshment, I'm afraid. Would you care for some water?"
"No, no, miss, I am well, thank you. It is I who should apologize for bursting in on you like this. Allow me to explain: I am Sir Ambrose's man; I have been with him since boyhood, for my father worked for him as well. Whatever he asks of me, I do my utmost, for he has indeed been very kind to my family. So he gave me the assignment to find you and find you I have and very glad of it he will be, too. He asked if you could meet him. I'm to take you to him, if you are willing."
"Now? But...I...I have nothing...I cannot offer myself...". She blushed deeply and could not go on. To his credit, the young man did not immediately understand what she was trying so hard not to say, but when he did, he too colored and said, "Oh, no, miss, no, no. Sir Ambrose has only your well-being in mind, yours and the baby's; he wishes only to speak with you, if you are willing. Nothing more." And when she still hesitated, added, "I would suppose there's dinner in it, too...for us both!" And gave her a sly grin she could not resist.
"Very well, but I...I have nothing else to wear than these rags I have on and my wrap. I could not go anywhere respectable."
"No worries, miss. Where we are going you shall fit right in. Shall we be off?"
Chapter Five is here.
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