Freedom

When I got back home from California today, there was a part of my mind that was grousing and grumbling about getting back into the flow of things, of having to take on the day-to-day duties of your average householder ("householder" being what the Buddha called all those who were not monks).

"I should be able to do anything I want for the next two days and not have to worry about all of this crap there is to do," said Wanda Whiner. "I have been busy flying back and forth and doing things for others; it's about time I had some hedonistic time to just sit around and do whatever I  feel like."

Another member of the internal committee--we'll call him Responsible Rick--said, "But, Wanda, that's not how it works. It's not like you earn points for being a good boy or girl and that buys you the right to ignore obligations and what needs to be done. You were of service over the weekend because it was the right thing to do, not to store up brownie points. Having done that does not give you any special license."

"Says you. Why is there always more stuff to do, anyway? Why can't we ever be just done for once?"

"Well, as far as I can tell, that's just the way life works. I mean, you know about entropy..."

"Oh, boy, here we go," Wanda muttered under her breath.

"No, seriously. It's absurd to think that the floors will remain eternally clean or the groceries eternally fresh, even if you didn't eat any of them, which would be rather a self-defeating way to get out of going to the store, by the way."

"For heaven's sake, there's no need to be so fricking literal. I didn't mean FOREVER or anything like that. Jeez. Why can't we just take a break?"

"Well, of course we can. Most of tonight and most of tomorrow is wide open and we can spend it relaxing and taking our ease. But there are some things, like blogging and walking and unpacking and watering that need to be done. We can't simply abandon our responsibilities."

"See, that's just what I mean. Why not? Why can't we just have a day of complete rest?" Wanda began to snivel a bit.

"Well, the plants would die, for one thing. On Tuesday when I have to go to work, I wouldn't be able to find things I need from the backpack I took to California. And I have promised myself to exercise regularly and to blog every day."

"THERE! THERE! Perfect example, Mr. Perfectionist! Blog every day? Why? Who cares?"

"Well, I promised..."

"Promised whom?" Then, under her breath, "And nobody reads it anyway."

Rick refused to be bated. "Now, Wanda, you know that's not true. Besides, that's not the point. I want to be accountable, if only to myself. I want to put down how things are every day, not just when I'm having a good one or a bad one or have some flash of insight. It's important to do it every single day, even when it's inconvenient; especially when it's inconvenient."

Spiritual Spencer chimed in, "I think there's something you both are forgetting." Rick and Wanda rolled their eyes. "No, really. Listen, have you forgotten that you are always as free as you allow yourself to be? That in any moment you can be as thoroughly joyful as you ever will be, if you make that choice? And that in every single moment you have that choice?"

"Oh, sure," said Wanda, "I shall be joyful while washing the dishes. Fat chance."

"But that's a choice, surely you can see that. It's not about getting things done, as Rick asserts. It's not about doing nothing, as you assert. Oh, sure, if you didn't ever wash the dishes, then that would lead to consequences you would eventually have to face, specifically nothing to eat off of or with, and a smelly house. But that is a choice you could make joyfully. On the other hand, you could make the choice to wash them joyfully. The mistake we make is believing that what will bring us happiness is always in the next moment, or perhaps the one after that. This is the only moment in which you can be happy or joyful. This is also the only moment you can be miserable or resentful. These are your choices. Remember what Pema Chodron said? 'You are always standing in the middle of a sacred circle.'"

The rest of the committee murmured growing concurrence with Spencer's logic. "It's not that I disagree with either of you. Reid must do things and he has a right to take it easy, both. We of the committee are here to see to it that he finds a balance that will give him access to as much joy as possible, isn't that right?"

Wanda, refusing to give in, yet recognizing the overwhelming nature of Spencer's logic, sulked into a corner. Rick grinned and relaxed. Reid went for a walk, but got a couple of movies while he was out. He came home, put the dishes away, and sat down to write his blog post. While he wrote it, he ate a few things that made Wanda happier. All was quiet in the committee room. Will the last member to leave please turn out the lights?