I have many stressors right now and one of the only habitual responses I have left to artificially cope with them is food.
Kathy has been gone for a month and gets back tomorrow. This is a very happy thing, but very stressful. What the research indicates is that the more positive or negative the event, the more stressful it is, regardless of its desirability.
The day after she gets back we leave for Portland to see our son married. As I mentioned before, this is a rather informal wedding and the big party will be next year. Still, this is the first time my boy will ever get married. It's another positive stressor.
Money sometimes rears its head as a stressor. Generally, I assume that we will have enough to do what we must, but there are some days I can't believe this. I have all sorts of evidence that when we do what is right the money is there for us to do it and to get what we need (as opposed to what we want). Still, I don't always believe.
My parents are generally well, but old and somewhat fragile. I would be lying if I didn't also admit that they contribute to my feeling of monetary stress. My mother-in-law is also ill, as I have written before.
We have done and coped with a great deal over the past few months and I think I'm a bit worn down. May we please have a normal, quiet month or two now? (Whatever "normal" and "quiet" mean).
I am a bit concerned that going out of town when I am stressed will cause me to overeat, which is itself
another stressor. I'm hoping that "telling on myself" here may forestall any such reaction. Last night I had a bit of a breakdown and ate a bit after I had supposedly finished for the day, so I know such a stress reaction is certainly a possibility for me.
Fortunately, I have tools to help me cope with all this. It certainly became clear to me last night how easily I can fall back into the old habits and ways of thinking. But I know how effective tonglen can be and how lovingkindness can ease my mind. Lovingkindness also serves to put my mind in the frame of otherness rather than me-ness. When I focus excessively on myself and my feelings, I can easily get lost and think that they are overwhelming, when in fact they are simply average. Meditation is my friend always. The idea that I am here to be of service rather than to be served is always very useful. This is all great practice for when the truly big things come to challenge me. I feel so fortunate to have come to the place I have with so many tools to help me cope.
Kathy has been gone for a month and gets back tomorrow. This is a very happy thing, but very stressful. What the research indicates is that the more positive or negative the event, the more stressful it is, regardless of its desirability.
The day after she gets back we leave for Portland to see our son married. As I mentioned before, this is a rather informal wedding and the big party will be next year. Still, this is the first time my boy will ever get married. It's another positive stressor.
Money sometimes rears its head as a stressor. Generally, I assume that we will have enough to do what we must, but there are some days I can't believe this. I have all sorts of evidence that when we do what is right the money is there for us to do it and to get what we need (as opposed to what we want). Still, I don't always believe.
My parents are generally well, but old and somewhat fragile. I would be lying if I didn't also admit that they contribute to my feeling of monetary stress. My mother-in-law is also ill, as I have written before.
We have done and coped with a great deal over the past few months and I think I'm a bit worn down. May we please have a normal, quiet month or two now? (Whatever "normal" and "quiet" mean).
I am a bit concerned that going out of town when I am stressed will cause me to overeat, which is itself
another stressor. I'm hoping that "telling on myself" here may forestall any such reaction. Last night I had a bit of a breakdown and ate a bit after I had supposedly finished for the day, so I know such a stress reaction is certainly a possibility for me.
Fortunately, I have tools to help me cope with all this. It certainly became clear to me last night how easily I can fall back into the old habits and ways of thinking. But I know how effective tonglen can be and how lovingkindness can ease my mind. Lovingkindness also serves to put my mind in the frame of otherness rather than me-ness. When I focus excessively on myself and my feelings, I can easily get lost and think that they are overwhelming, when in fact they are simply average. Meditation is my friend always. The idea that I am here to be of service rather than to be served is always very useful. This is all great practice for when the truly big things come to challenge me. I feel so fortunate to have come to the place I have with so many tools to help me cope.
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