My weight today is 204 pounds.
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After yesterday's post, I got to thinking about things we believe. The woman sitting in front of me at baseball game yesterday obviously believed something ("Thou shalt not talk during a baseball game") that, at least to my way of thinking, was clearly erroneous.
It seems to me that, like the White Queen in Alice in Wonderland, we often "believe six impossible things before breakfast." To take just one example: it is more or less pervasive among humans to believe that being cold or, worse yet, getting wet when it is cold can make you sick. Yet this is quite clearly humbug. Only viruses and bacteria make us sick and, no, contrary to another piece of popular "wisdom", being cold does not decrease your body's immune response to any significant degree. The reason we get sick more often in the winter is simply because we are indoors more and there is less fresh air ventilation and for both reasons we are more likely to be exposed to germs. Simple as that.
The only reason I raise this (admittedly contentious) example is to make the point that perhaps we all need to more often question our strongly held beliefs. As I started to think about it, a long list of Things We Believe That Are In Fact False occurred to me:
--There's always someone waiting to take advantage of me and unless I am constantly vigilant, they will succeed.
--Venting anger is necessary or it will fester, grow, and explode. (On the contrary, research has made it clear that acting on your anger causes it to increase, not decrease).
--Knowing about every bad thing going on in the world is essential, perhaps because if I do they are less likely to happen. I am not fulfilling my solemn obligation as a citizen of the world if I don't pay attention to every war, tragedy, and disaster.
--Being angry or annoyed at people and events that are unaware of my irritation will somehow change the annoying behavior or situation. Glaring is particularly effective.
--Worrying about something will keep it from happening.
--There are rules everyone should follow, and I know what they are.
--Meditation is about relaxation and if I try it and can't relax or my thoughts won't stop, I'm a meditation failure.
--I am lazy if I'm not constantly doing something.
--Only people with paid work are full members of society.
--Knocking on wood has a practical function.
--Making up rules for myself and chastising myself for not following them is an effective method of behavior change (and see the subset, Resolutions, New Year's type).
--When you continue to disagree with me, it must be because I have not explained myself well enough. Becoming louder, more long-winded, and/or profane will probably help.
--Someday, if I work hard enough, I will get to the end of my to-do list.
--Multitaskers get more done more efficiently. (I know a lot of people buy into this mythology, too. You might want to take a look here).
--Everyone is perfect but me.
--Everyone is stupid but me.
--Everyone is contented but me.
--Everyone feels the way they appear to feel.
--I am a better driver than you are.
--Illness can be avoided, aging is a tragedy, and death is not inevitable.
And on and on. I suspect any of us could come up with a much longer list. What these seem to have in common is a couple of things; magical thinking (if only I wish hard enough or do just the right dance or something, what I want to come true will) and judgement, either of others or ourselves. What a waste of energy! There is a world of phenomena happening every second, and we can either grasp the whirlwind or use our precious human lives wishing it were otherwise. This is our only choice, really. Step back and take a look at what you believe and ask this simple question: "What evidence do I have that this is true?" If you have spent your whole life thinking you are stupid or angry or worthless or less-than, ask yourself this question.
No one, absolutely no one is more worthy of your love than you are.
***************************************
After yesterday's post, I got to thinking about things we believe. The woman sitting in front of me at baseball game yesterday obviously believed something ("Thou shalt not talk during a baseball game") that, at least to my way of thinking, was clearly erroneous.
The only reason I raise this (admittedly contentious) example is to make the point that perhaps we all need to more often question our strongly held beliefs. As I started to think about it, a long list of Things We Believe That Are In Fact False occurred to me:
--There's always someone waiting to take advantage of me and unless I am constantly vigilant, they will succeed.
--Venting anger is necessary or it will fester, grow, and explode. (On the contrary, research has made it clear that acting on your anger causes it to increase, not decrease).
--Knowing about every bad thing going on in the world is essential, perhaps because if I do they are less likely to happen. I am not fulfilling my solemn obligation as a citizen of the world if I don't pay attention to every war, tragedy, and disaster.
--Being angry or annoyed at people and events that are unaware of my irritation will somehow change the annoying behavior or situation. Glaring is particularly effective.
--Worrying about something will keep it from happening.
--There are rules everyone should follow, and I know what they are.
--Meditation is about relaxation and if I try it and can't relax or my thoughts won't stop, I'm a meditation failure.
--I am lazy if I'm not constantly doing something.
--Only people with paid work are full members of society.
--Knocking on wood has a practical function.
--Making up rules for myself and chastising myself for not following them is an effective method of behavior change (and see the subset, Resolutions, New Year's type).
--When you continue to disagree with me, it must be because I have not explained myself well enough. Becoming louder, more long-winded, and/or profane will probably help.
--Someday, if I work hard enough, I will get to the end of my to-do list.
--Multitaskers get more done more efficiently. (I know a lot of people buy into this mythology, too. You might want to take a look here).
--Everyone is perfect but me.
--Everyone is stupid but me.
--Everyone is contented but me.
--Everyone feels the way they appear to feel.
--I am a better driver than you are.
--Illness can be avoided, aging is a tragedy, and death is not inevitable.
And on and on. I suspect any of us could come up with a much longer list. What these seem to have in common is a couple of things; magical thinking (if only I wish hard enough or do just the right dance or something, what I want to come true will) and judgement, either of others or ourselves. What a waste of energy! There is a world of phenomena happening every second, and we can either grasp the whirlwind or use our precious human lives wishing it were otherwise. This is our only choice, really. Step back and take a look at what you believe and ask this simple question: "What evidence do I have that this is true?" If you have spent your whole life thinking you are stupid or angry or worthless or less-than, ask yourself this question.
No one, absolutely no one is more worthy of your love than you are.
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